Changes

Too many changes might be something I scare about.

I wish to say to myself : Things always change, dude. Let go.

The end

One year later. It will be the end of this love story.

Friends

Nothing to write about friends actually. To make friend with others and get along well is a tough job for me. I think it's my personalities and attitude problems but somehow, now, I don't think so. My lecturer told me (us) that just be yourself when you communicate with others. "Is that really work?" A question in my mind.

Back to the thing I want to share now. I digged out a conversation and I found it's so touching. A friend of mine which I less contact with lately, I never thought she understands me so well. Tears almost drop after I read the conversation even though she was telling a negative site of mine.
"Being ignored is the thing she scares the most. She needs attention ALOT. She needs to be in a group."
I was like.."Awwwwww..She knows me well..."
I don't remember that I have told her my past about friends. Maybe I did. That's why she knows me so well.

It's so touching. At least someone knows me well and understands me why I scare to being ignored and, she will never left me out even though both of us have our own busy life. That's called friend.

其实

其实我是爱你的，却不懂为什么要对你那么坏....

Performance at Putrajaya!

Had a blast last week..I went to Putrajaya for our BEC first K-POP cover dance competition..I feel so happy even though we didn't get any prize..It is all because I met Ruffneckz and Progression as well as other K-POP cover group!! It was a great experience for me and BEC..And I found that I didn't afraid of standing on the stage anymore..Congratulations to Ruffneckz and Progression!I will remember the day I spent with BEC at Putrajaya!

PS: Everyone is transferring from foundation into degree but I still in my holiday mode..Am I right in choosing pharmacy? Is that all I want? What actually suits me?What can I be? I'm so lost!!! ><

Love Life

很想说些什么，但却很难启齿...
你们很勇敢...
Love Life!

当你听到一首情歌时，会想起谁?

舞鞋  穿了洞‭  裂了縫‭  預備迎接一個夢 
OK‭ ‬繃‭  ‬遮住痛  要把蒼白都填充 
勇氣惶恐‭  我要用哪一種  面對他一百零一分笑容 
等待‭  的時空‭  有點重  重得時針走不動 
無影蹤‭  他始終‭  不曾降臨生命中 
我好想懂  誰放我手心裡捧 
幸福啊  依然長長的人龍 


想踮起腳尖找尋愛  遠遠的存在 
我來不及‭  ‬說聲嗨  影子就從人海暈開 
才踮起腳尖的期待  只怕被虧待 
我勾不著還‭  ‬微笑忍耐 
等你回過頭來‭ 


哪天  撲了空‭  折了衷  祈禱終於起作用 
一陣風‭  吹來夢  卻又敗在難溝通 
我終於懂  怎麼人們的臉孔  想到愛  寂寞眼眶就轉紅 


想踮起腳尖找尋愛  遠遠的存在 
我來不及‭  說聲嗨  影子就從人海暈開 
才踮起腳尖的期待  只怕被虧待
我勾不著還‭  ‬微笑忍耐 
等你回過頭來‭ 
你會回過頭來 
回過頭來 


想踮起腳尖找尋愛  遠遠的存在 
我來不及‭  ‬說聲嗨  影子就從人海暈開 
才踮起腳尖的期待  只怕被虧待 
我勾不著還‭ ‬微笑忍耐 
等你回過頭來‭

Interview..

3 more days I will be going for an interview..My first interview ever in my life..I quite nervous because of my communication skill is poor.. -.- as well as my English.. I do want to improve both of them but seems that there are still a lot I need to catch up.. Phew.. Should I prepare for it? Spontaneously talk to the interviewers? What should I do? I just look like a kid that needs someone to guide me out there.. Who will be the kind man? I keep telling myself to be more confident but seems like it doesn't work..I scare! ><



However, I still have to face it. :/

You are the only one.

Neo naege ojik hanappuniya.

过去.爱

无意间地登入以前的部落格..
意外地发现，你不久前也来过..原来你还记得那个有意义的密码...
看你post了些东西..一年前的我，是多么地渴望你会登入这个blog；现在终于等到了..
那首周杰伦的《你好吗》.. :(
原来你还收着这么多照片.. 那时你在FB删除了album，我以为你不会留着我们任何一张照片的...
你自弹的曲子....是什么时候录下来的?
有太多的原来...
痛哭了一场...像是释怀了...
就让我自作多情吧~我真的认为你还在乎...
你曾经那么的在乎..那为什么要离开?
做出这个决定的时候，你到底是什么心情?
痛得一定不比我的少吧..
可是现在就算有再多的疑问，也解释不了什么..
已经回不去了...
我可以告诉你，我现在过得一点也不好..
会无缘无故的难过..
会突然感到空虚，寂寞..
可我已经习惯了..
其实已经很不错了，我和他过得很开心..
我会让我自己过得更好的..相信你也会..
我很想像以前爱你那样爱他..
到此为止吧..我以前可以那么爱你..
现在，我也可以那么爱他..

Past.

Just saw something in FB and feels like want to post this out.


" Don’t be the guy that doesn’t understand his girlfriend and the way she acts, because you never took the time to learn and understand her past, you know?"


PS: I want to spam this so much!

重点

我好像不适合说甜言蜜语...
因为没有人会听懂它...
重点永远都不会在甜的词语上...
而是在用来托衬的，cacat......

Fuck you!

Walao耶...我十分非常的讨厌那些对自己要做的事不负责任的人！！！
还要厚着脸皮拜托别人帮他们完成他们的工作！
拜托啦....我们也有自己的事要做！！
要不是我刚好有去那里，我才懒得帮你们叻...
不要以为一句谢谢有什么了不起...我才不稀罕那一句谢谢..
真的是......还好是最后一次对着你们！
自私就算了..
还要捡别人的便宜..
不负责任到极点..
做事又马虎..
终于挨到了Final..我不用再对着你们...
真的感谢天感谢地...
Fuck you送给你们也侮辱了这个词！

200th day

Wow~ Fantastic Baby~ xDD

This is the 2nd 100days..How many 100days to go?

Hope it still have another 100 days..

没有钱.

我到底把钱都花在哪里了?
T_T

Who am I?

What had happened to Chai Yee Wan these days?
She always put herself in a bad mood recently. Is there something bothering her? Can someone help her to figure out what's wrong with her? =(
She is mentally unbalanced! She's unhappy!!! She wants to distance herself from others. I want to bang wall now! 

Capricious.

I''m so sad for you because you have a capricious girlfriend. :(

Really.

I think you're the one walking further from me.

Yiiiiiiii~!

Sui zai bao!!


I miss you!!!!

Chinese New Year Wave.

First of all,
Happy Chinese New Year 2012!!!!
It has been 1 week since last Friday I came back to Kampar. Well, I'll be going back to KL on this coming Sunday. :( Time flies. 
I spent most of the time with family during this NY holiday. I'm gonna list it out:
- Sing K with brother and sister.
- Reunion dinner with grandma and family.
- Buffet party with all relatives.
- Stay home eat biscuits.
- Stay home drink 100plus and Shandy.
- Stay home watch TV.
- Stay home fb.
- Stay home stare at the monitor.
- Stay home sleep.
*cough*  I'm such a good daughter. LOL.


Chor3, I went out with Mr.Yap Wen Bin. This boy only hangs out with his"wife" after coming back to Kampar. I emo! >< But at last, I still manage to date him out. 
We went to post office to renew my L license and he post something to Johor. Then we went to Kampar station to buy my Silver ETS ticket which costs me RM22 since I didn't show my student ID card. He bought ticket too but he is going back to KL on this coming Friday which is tomorrow. HAHA! After that, we reached his house after we went to Tesco Kampar to buy cucumber. Stayed awhile, we decided to go to Secret Recipe to enjoy a little piece of cake. Lastly, He fetched me home and went to take his "wife".  ><!!! Then I forever alone.


Chor4, I'd joined my secondary schoolmates, Poh, Chen, Looi, Lau, Melvin, Joe and Leong go to pay a new year call (BAI NIAN's google translate). I feels so happy that finally I managed to meet all of them and chitchat alot. Everyone had changed. We are going to hold a reunion gathering next year ya. 


Oppa went to China. He has been missing for 4 days and I keep thinking of him. So damn miss you, Alvin Ho! What are you doing? When do you sleep these days? Do you miss me like I miss you that much? Did you eat that sugar-coated haws? >< 
KAY. I feels that I'm like a soh po. Going to sleep now.
"Goodnight oppa. Sleep tight. Love you. =)"

-_-

I  WANT  A  BETTER  ME!!!!!

Woof!

Woohuuu~ I'm so excited about my friend is going to be in a relationship!!
Is that true? Not sure yet. But I just can't stop myself. Hahahaha. xDDD
Phew~ 
Let's talk about today. I went to Viva mall with friends to eat my long-waited yogurt! It was just nice and I really want to enjoy it again and again! Unfortunately, it was too rush as I had to go back for my Chemistry class. During the class, I received a message from friend, Maggie, and knew that her uncle's shop want to hire worker. Woof! I want to work!! Actually quite worried about that I can't manage my studies after working. But what to do? Just have a try!! "Risk is opportunity"!!
I went to studio after the class. Just a few ones in the studio and I just slacked around there until 6.30pm. Aaron treated me taufu fa!!! Thank you!
Woof! Today is a nice day~ For every single moment!!

4 months.

4 months? Yea. I never realised it'd been 4 months. You looked sad when you figured out I didn't remember it. 

You might not know about the 4th month later, it would be a really unstable condition for our relationship. Superstitious? Yea, I am. 

That incident hit me even it was just a small little tiny thingy for you, perhaps, for me too. You said I'm feeling insecure now yet I don't think so. I didn't want you to text me all the times while other girls do it normally to their boyfriends. Because I don't want the last incident happens to me again. I did allow you to play games even though there are terms and conditions. I don't think it's too much for you. I think and prepare well for our relationship because I don't want any argument between us. You said you don't like I do this, I listen to you; don't like I do that, I listen to you. Even though I didn't say it in words, I did it with actions. Even though I just did a little, but it was a big step for me. And now, that incident was happened just like that. I realised I think too much. In this relationship, I'm too protecting. I realised I treated you too good and just let the incident hit me like that. Wasting my sleeping time, keep waking up just to check for your "not coming" message until the next morning, I have to know your safety from FACEBOOK. Just like my ex!! Just like what I did to my ex. I hate waiting, but keep waiting. I love sleeping but I always waste my sleeping time for my love one. Even the reason you gave me just same like him. You like to think vice verse. But you never think this vice verse. You just treat this like a small little tiny thingy and ask me everyday for the reason I'm becoming like this. Then, I feel stupid doing all this for you. I started to feel that you're not worth at all. Like him. When did I start to care so much about you? I told myself not to care so much. Not to love you so much. Right now I realised when I did care and love, and it's the time for me to get hurt! 

Didn't you realised this me is so familiar? You're right. It was the beginning me. Insecure? No. Just, I tell myself again, not to care so much, not to love you so much.

I know you will hurt when you see this. I know I'm so selfish. I just want to protect myself.